We all know the story of Little Red Riding Hood and the big bad wolf, don’t we?
I always felt that the official story had been modified to make it more suitable for younger audiences.
Therefore, here is my interpretation of what REALLY happened that day, written in funky rap-song format!
Little Red got bling!
This is a story
about a girl in red
it’s just a little story
you might have read
But I’m sure you never heard
the deal was real
So listen up,
cos this is how
it happened for real
For real
Late one night
back in the ‘hood
a little girl in red
dressed up real good
Early in the morning
with a basket full of goodies
she hit the long green road
headed to the house of Granny’s
She rolled down the hill
running the same old drill
stocked up with the poppy
head full of chill
She rolled for her Granny down the hill
Granny down the hill
Granny down the hill
Hustling in the forest
pocket full of happy
she knew which way to go
to dodge her wolf-daddy
There she arrived (on the dot)
right at Granny’s door
knock knock she went
eyes all glazed
stoned for sure
All quiet inside
looked like Granny wasn’t there
the cops drove by
giving her a mean li’l glare
She picked the doorlock,
broke right in
just like her mama taught her
with her little red hairpin
there was the wolf
hung over and wasted
and there stood granny
in a scene R-Rated
Granny was rolling
the paper up good
Wolfy was smoking
like a good stoner should
Li’l red hood
stood there all alone
her eyes all wide
her mind all blown
she yelled out loud:
“Granny rolls her own!
Granny rolls her own!”
Straight up
Granny rolled her own
Granny rolled her own
Damn right,
Granny liked a puff
Just as sure
Wolfy liked it rough
Together they smoked
all night long
flying real high
working that bong
They partied real hard
They partied real true
even li’l miss red
sniffed some glue
Her basket of goodies
devoured in a flash
as the munchies hit ‘em hard
like an atomic blast
The whole night they sang
lost in the groove
about Granny’s little secret
though it wasn’t really news
Somewhere along the line
Li’l Red’s mama
already knew
Somehow she ended up
at the party too
All together now
they howled the night through
About how
Granny rolled her own
Granny rolled her own
Now everybody knew
Granny rolled her own
Granny rolled her own
Singin’
Granny rolled her own
Granny rolled her own
