Vengeance by photocopy
It was one of those ugly days when you have to pay the devil his due. Often known as “weekends”.
Let’s just say that there was some pending paperwork that needed to be taken care of.
No two ways about it; the orders came straight from The Family. Best to get this over and done with quickly.
Packing a mean bag of papers and the maximum allowable human dosage for caffeine, I hit the road and put some serious mileage on my car.
I arrived at the office at around noon.
The guards at the door checked me out: doorway scanners, metal detectors, the works. These guys weren’t taking any chances.
They let me in, though it was clear they weren’t happy about it. Too bad for them.
The office was as seedy as ever. A marble-floored pit infested with clerks, accountants and other social misfits. I got a few suspicious glares as I walked to the counter.
A bunch of people with blank expressions were lined up at the counters like zombies. Further inside, men in suits and ties were sitting in their cubicles, glued to their phones, shuffling papers and counting the money. Interesting racket they had going on here.
But that was none of my business. I was just here to take care of some paperwork.
I had paid my dues. All I wanted was to chuck the papers at the bastard across the tiny window, get a receipt, and be on my way.
Simple enough, right?
When it comes to desi offices, it’s never simple.
I got to the window and slid the papers in. The man behind the counter gave me a smug look, and leafed through the papers like he was doing me a favor.
I’d like to punch right through that glass partition and do him a favor… by putting him out of his misery.
He slid the papers back at me, pointing at one stray sheet.
“We need two copies of this” he said.
I could feel my jaw clench with righteous indignation.
Easy now. Breathe.
I didn’t want to make a scene. Not if I wanted to get out of here anytime soon.
Grudgingly I walked over to the photocopy guy. Some self-important skinny idiot tried to cut ahead of me in line.
“Excuse me” I growled. Skinny idiot turned around, looking irritated.
I looked him in the eye with a look that said “step aside right now or else I’ll be photocopying your broken jaw while you bleed all over the copy machine.”
He stood still for a moment, and then timidly stepped aside.
Smart move, skinny.
I got the copies, went back and handed over the goods to the man behind the counter. He stamped the papers and handed back my receipt like a good little drone.
The job was done.
Time to hit the road.
On my way out, I saw skinny idiot standing at a desk, looking through some papers. He saw me watching him.
That’s right, skinny, I’m looking at you. I can’t stand people who don’t have the common decency to wait their turn. And I especially don’t like self-important idiots who think they own the damn photocopier.
I’m out of here right now, but I’ll be back.
You better watch your back, skinny.
You’re on my list.
