Omair’s List: Entry #5

Plastic arrogance

If I didn’t know any better, I’d say the world is getting more surreal everyday. Maybe the fabric of society is starting to unravel. Maybe corporations are ruling the world. Maybe I have heatstroke. It doesn’t matter.

In the corner table, there were two suited men attempting to look dignified while feasting on their unwieldy sandwiches. Why morons like them insist on wearing a suit and tie on their lunch break even when the mercury outside has topped 50 C is beyond me. Maybe dying of heat exhaustion while sharply dressed is a new trend in corporate circles these days.

Their obsession with their cellphones is utterly ridiculous. Here you are Mr. Executive, having lunch with what passes for your associates. I would assume you’re here for a break. And yet you insist on juggling your phone, sandwich, drink and ego all at once.
The world won’t end if you put your phone down for a few minutes. You won’t lose your job. Your company will not collapse. But maybe you will spare some innocent bystander your incessant banter of garbled words, loud hellos and other indecipherable corporate jargon that you spew forth with such pomposity. And for the love of god, change your goddamned ring tone.

Enough is enough. Your little technology fetish stops here. If that glorified chunk of plastic bleeps one more time, I promise you the doctors will have a hell of a job extracting it from your arrogant posterior.

Watch your back Mr. self-important executive.
You’re on my list.